Shadow Teachers

I remember now, the nanosecond split decision to enter into the conception imprint of the body I currently infuse Source's essence into. The embryonic embodiment's input into the choice to further the survival of the body by accommodating what could be called 'parental intent' or agenda. A split choice, indeed, as the pure intent, the trajectory of the essence was for a dimensional reality of pure light, sound, beauty and co-creation. And yes, that could and can be co-created in the now and here of our incarnate reality constructs.

Childhood was spent in a mental state of perplexion. The feeling of 'THIS is not what was intended! Or was it? What happened?'. Where are all of the abilities this essence is so familiar with? Why do these abilities not seem to function here?

A slight detour. Ever so slight, yet all-permeating. As I sat with this, listening, as the body has been clearing mightily of late, I heard, one more time, the words of one of this lifetime's teachers "one dimension too many". Admittedly, the reactivity was that of 'oh, not again'...with many lifetimes' disciplined energy of 'yes, show me, what is it that wants to be seen?'. I was shown a scene from one of the Harry Potter films. I forget which. Harry is using floo powder to travel magically and mispronounces his intended destination. [in the film, his intended destination is Diagon Alley and he says 'diagonally'] He ends up 'one grate' too far. The intended destination was full of sweet shops, 'good' wizards, his soul friends... and the 'one grate too far' full of twisted magicks, darkness, fear and treachery. The often 'hidden' world of the shadow teachers. "One dimension too many". 'Oh, you're joking me!' I exclaimed in meditation, the laughter bursting through my inner core. The physical instinct for survival in the developing reptilian brain (brainstem) of this body was allowed to divert pure intention by one little space-time pixel and what was chosen was the realm of the Shadow Teachers...

And, of course, there are no accidental choices. In 'hibernation' these past weeks, I finally heard that small voice, another that pretends to be the voice of Essence glibly stating 'oh, i shall just sacrifice myself one last time... for the hell of it. Why not?'. The hell of it indeed. For that has been the experience...the polarisation of heaven and hell, in incarnate form. A chosen experience, Now fully owned, integrated and released. Yes, the intention was there to incarnate into a certain family, bloodline coding(s), society, opportunities, etc. Yes, the original intention was for an embodiment of pure creativity, embodiment of true creative power. And yes, the slightest little wobble in choosing was present, still, for the first blueprint in this, a double blueprint lifetime (for everyone). 'why not clean up whatever CAN be cleaned up?' Oh how very noble... from a spiritually arrogant point of view. Why not clean THAT up, if nothing else? (eeks)

Years, actually decades ago, I had a dream where I was in some sort of oubliette in 'hell' with a few of my friend Leslie Temple-Thurston's students. I was assisting them to break out of this illusion, this place of forgetting. Leslie walked through an open portal into this little closed-loop dimension, and spoke to me, ignoring the others completely. She said 'I don't want you doing that HERE'. The 'i' of the dream immediately began to protest:' i am not doing harm! I am trying to assist! I am only bringing light to the shadow!'. The dream Leslie looked at me as though I had gone completely mad and took my left hand in hers. She gently but firmly walked me through the open portal I had been resolutely trying to show to these 'others' and through a few more - 5 in fact - to a much lighter, love-filled area. She then faced me, repeating 'I don't want you doing that THERE'. Literally. Not in that place. I woke up still feeling the pressure of her hand holding mine. I have remembered that, for these decades of practice. 'Not THERE'. That is a shadow world, a compartment of the illusion that is not suited to your presence.

Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? ~Rumi

Communication, as it flows through me needs to come from another place. The true 'I' of me is not a shadow teacher, but something else, something now emerging that has yet to take form or flight. Something whose initial intentional trajectory is being honoured through me, ready or not.

I drew a Rumi card at New Year's 2011, 'The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.'

The body's reaction then, after 3 years of 'shedding' and 'crunching' experiences was 'no more... no more...' and yet there has manifested more upon more upon more until this last, 'final' (and the long-programmed doubt is certainly present & being processed) sucker punch that pulverizes the scar tissue into rubble, exposing wounds long cauterized out of even unconscious vibration. The sledge hammer version of truth, that only shadow teachers ever wield. A parcel of 'small gifts' - oddly belittled versions of giving - offered with gratitude, with love and with the sledgehammer of projection firmly attached. 'Here is what i have to teach you! Here is what YOU need to heal!'... and of course, this was not fully conscious on the part of the bestower... it did its work, nonetheless... and in receiving the love, the sledgehammer was vanquished at long last.

In the dimension I currently occupy, this aspect of teaching no longer exists. The vestiges of its departure were acutely painful to the physical and emotional bodies. The crushing of ancient, cauterized pain can only be met now, from this place, with gratitude. Thank you that that reality no longer exists within 'me'. Thank you that this shattering of the realm of the Shadow Teachers has left me at long last ~ free. Free to choose the co-creative space of my Divine Alignment. Free to simply 'Be'.

For all of the Shadow Teachers of long acquaintance, you are loved. You are respected. Your gifts have proven priceless. Of inestimable value. And yes, I was and have been, 'another you'. Thank you for your long love and acquaintance. It is time to say 'goodbye', to return to the Oneness from which 'I' have come, to be 'of you'.

It is never about another... it is always a way to be free... even the niggliest wobbly into 'one dimension too many' ~ a gift of transcendence into wholeness... though I might now recommend the 'front door' having done the other side. ;)

Walking with Gaia

Last night, in the middle of a long, sleepless, meditative stretch of hours, Gaia made her presence known. We chat together, Gaia and I, most days, many nights. This was different. An invitation.

From within the orb of Gaian embodiment, an offer emerged... non-verbal in its essence, a current from the heart. "Your circle is welcome. Join within." In 2009, after listening repeatedly to a channeling by my friend Leslie Temple-Thurston, from Gaia herself, stating what has finally emerged as the obvious 'it is time... I am evolving... you must evolve within me... your options are 'this'" (I am mis-quoting a bit here, apologies).

Since that deep listening, deep aligning, the singularity that I experience as 'I' has deepened her melt into our earth Mother. Roshini and I rise each day and express our love to and within her many dimensions. Lessening now, these dimensional windows. And multiplying, in fractal beauty in ways only reflected in miniature within her light ~ in snowfall, the rainbow lights within sunrise on snow ~ the light on the water in all its myriad forms...

This morning, though, we walked AS GAIA... on her surface world, within her vast embrace, yet AS SHE. The peace and wonderment of this, not a first experience, but a completion of some as yet un-cognized kind, leaves me breathless still. Gratitude for breath itself, for ths sylphs who clear and purify our harried atmospheric orb, for flow, the undines that ceaselessly sing and provide life-force to this, our blue, beloved earth... the green world in all her resplendent glory, the gnomes, elementals of embodiment, whose crystalline creations now rival the stars. For salamanders, large and small, as they spark the light, warm the hearth and provide a catalyst for this, Gaia's emergence into yet a new form.

As we walked, and Roshini pounced, and rolled and leapt for joy, the green world gave of its abundant splendor, the salamanders promising warmth from collected 'twigs', the waters beginning to gurgle once more beneath our icy bridge of mindfullness, we joined with Gaia in her murmur of awakening... the quiet, still hum of new beginnings.

What a wonder, is this, 'our' world.
May Every Blessing Find you,
Happy Sivaratri!
~unending love,
Nalini

http://www.delphicwave.com
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New Cycle Shifting

As we move into the new year, new cycle, new paradigm or whatever you may choose to call it - we are now NEW... and this is presenting interesting challenges to our physical and emotional bodies. The concept of 'NEW' to these bodies is triggering infant response patterns that make little or no sense to the mind, the intellect, and, in some instances, even to our hearts.

We can have physical, emotional reactions to people, places, things, situations, events, that on the surface appear to be nonsensical. We are either flung into reactivity or into the self-judgement backwash of 'what the bleep is going on? these are ridiculous feelings to have! why is this so painful?'.

What helps is to notice repetitive patterns in the physical body, sometimes in the form of repetitive symptoms,that mirror the adult body's triggering into an infant reaction of 'not safe' - 'can't trust' - or something like that. The physical body is being triggered into infant reactivity. NEW - as in a totally new cycle or paradigm - translates to some of our body programming as "I'm an infant again in a foreign world where I don't know how to function, I am totally dependant and terrified". Again, this is a physical body pattern and not real nor applicable in the NOW. It does not feel that way to the physical body, however. These patterns within it feel their survival is threatened.

The energies continue to intensify. The waves become larger. The bodies (physical and emotional) feel tossed into a new world with no umbilical, or with energetic umbilical attachments that no longer feel safe. And that is correct. Any attachment to the 'old' cycle will not serve, unless it, too, has altered and shifted to the NEW.

So how do we help our physical and emotional bodies? How does one help a terrified infant? We look honestly, we present the truth, we choose to trust, and we comfort those aspects of self that feel as though they are being annihilated. No aspect of self will be 'left behind' in this transformation. Therein lies much of its intensity. In other lives we may have allowed these physical and emotional patterns to simply 'go home' or may have dropped the body entirely. Not this time. Not this transition. That choice is always available, but it is not optimal during this transformational shifting.

If and when the feelings of terror, pain, panic, symptoms etc. surface, remember to breathe and let go. It is the last thing the infant patterns will want to do and they are, for the most part, non-verbal. So trying to 'talk them down' will be completely useless. Feel into the symptoms or emotions and bring the heartspace energies in. Bring soothing vibrations into the reactivity. And ask for help from the Divine.

Thank You, Divine Mother, for releasing, comforting and shifting these vibrations that are 'lost' in transformation. Show me what I may need to understand and let all the rest be held and transformed in your loving embrace.

May the Blessings of this transition carry you home!
(ALL the way home! ALL THE WAY!!!)

~unending love
Nalini

http://www.delphicwave.com
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http://www.beyondmysticism.com

~Opening to Receive~

~What or Who is Shining? ~
Today's full moon in Cancer, with the Sun aligned in Capricorn highlights our 'real work'. Or, perhaps better put, our originally intended receiving of Divine Essence through and into our lifestream. As an original point of light, we each entered a lightstream that became lifestreams. Why? To express the Infinite Oneness in some unique way. Because it was going to be FUN ~ a new playing field ~ a chance to honor Divinity by showing up in form AS THAT. A new game, a new field, a unique expression of Divine Love.

So how's that going for you? Like most, have you forgotten that original intention? Have you lost yourself in self-created karmas? In the ensueing drama of a world whose 'human' lifestreams have largely been 'lost' for what we would call 'awhile now'?

This moon cycle is a re-membering. A relaxing into receiving. Releasing any fears of WHAT you will receive ~ any beliefs that in this place any receiving is most likely toxic, that you will receive that which you do NOT enjoy, nor wish for, that which is experienced as 'pain'. Let it go. Those manifestations are of the old cycle. Filtered and tainted with conditioned reaction. Let it go. Re-member what it is to trust completely. Hear the inner voice of egoic construct that shouts or whispers "not possible... not possible here". Thank that voice and let it go.

Re-member the Divinity that you WERE and still ARE... a singular point of light, or so it seemed, so you chose... re-member and feel the lifting suppression of the inner smile. Relax and let it go. Even this... even THAT. Allow original intention to flood you, Divine Love to hold you. Just for today. Just for NOW. Re-member. NOW is what is. Not the Old World.

Relax. Be held. Ask that all aspects of self that chose to 'act' or 'control' or 'fight' for/against anything at all relax into Divine Embrace. Just for today. Just for NOW. (Not the Old World ~ not anymore.. not ever again)

Receive the replenishment, the rejuvenation, the nourishment available. Just receive... and see what wonders come of the receiving.

May the Blessings of Transformation Carry you in Divine Embrace
~unending love
Nalini

http://www.delphicwave.com
http://www.beheartspace.com
http://www.beyondmysticism.com

"YOU are the one you have been waiting for..." ~ Hopi Prophecy

~ Happy Solstice! ~

~ Holding the Field(s) ~

What does it mean to 'hold a field'? We have thought we knew, perhaps. We have learned 'how to hold space'... this is not that. This is not that. Consider the solstice alignment. We acknowledge the effects on our bodies, our lives, our fields, of the celestial alignments. Today's solstice (exact at 9:36 pm pacific time on the 21st, 'yesterday') is conjunct the Galactic Center and squared to Uranus, the embodiment of radical change. We acknowledge these embodiments, yet we hold ourselves as 'other', as 'different'. We attempt to be 'empty', to be a 'space' and to hold space for a concept, a cause, for 'others'. The time for this misperception is over.

When we 'hold space' we are an empty cup, the 'hollow reed' through which Spirit is invited to pour. Of course. Why then, is the concept of being Spirit-FILLED 100% of the time, so foreign? The cycle is shifting and we with it. If we 'hold space' it will be filled... most likely with what is attempting to escape the dying paradigms of the old cycle, and/or be transmuted through that lovely clear space. Ouch! Our physical and emotional bodies were not designed to transmute the shifting of a cycle. Karmas from one cycle (the old one) perhaps, but not this. Not this. Spirit must be and is the doer here.

To hold a field, is to collaborate as a full-filled Divine embodiment, as and how Spirit's agenda leads us. We become a facet of Her crystalline embodiment, a gem in the larger design of Her new choosing, a stone in the new temple(s) being built of Her love. If any one facet or gem or 'stone' is 'empty' it will be crushed by the incoming intensity. Filled with the debris of what releases... And yet there is resistance. I do not pretend to understand. Why resist being FILLED with the light, love and power of the Divine as She creates a new configuration for this universe? Why not be a co-creative particle in that wave? Why not, in plain language, 'go with her flow'?

To participate in holding the new field(s) is not an identity, not a 'job description' it is a privilege, an honour and quite a bit of fun! First, we feel the resonance with certain vibratory patterns. This may show up as groups, projects, downloads, or any form or formlessness at all. We begin to gravitate to and through that resonance. New patterns magnetize us and we them. We are drawn toward that which uplifts, nourishes and sustains our beingness as we draw towards us that which does the same.

And, as we co-create simply by resonance vibration, the patterns shift and change again... and again... and again... until we come to the 'place of no patterning' ~ where our vibratory signature frequency simply IS and is drawn toward that which it resonates with and with which it aligns naturally ~ on a moment to moment basis. NO attachment, no aversion, simply resonance in the moment, as the new cycle is configured in accordance with Divine Will. Now THAT is fun!

What is the 'price' of this liquid alignment? Your identity. Your personal boxes, labels, and fears. The cartilage or carapace with which you maintain the structures of mind and alignment and behaviour. The mind will not willingly surrender these ~ unless and until the resonance has become so powerful that the FUN, the JOY, the upliftment, can no longer be denied.

This is such an alignment. Our daystar (a being that burns with divine light) is present in our galactic field, squared to the planetary being of change. Identity 'squared' - not to make it stronger! Not to exponentiate the cage! To free all vestiges of limited alignment and allow fluidity to finally be received, not by a 'hollow reed' but AS our embodiment.

All we need intend is 'yes' and let go. She who is the foundation of ALL has already foreseen your JOY, your ONENESS... for you ARE THAT ~ a resonant part of Her grand design.

Happy Solstice!
~with infinite JOY and aligned embodiment!
Nalini

http://www.delphicwave.com
http://www.beheartspace.com
http://www.beyondmysticism.com

Poised in the Pause ~ 12/12 ~

Many of us have travelled the 'cracks between the worlds'. This is such a time. Rarely have we had such guidance. The full moon/eclipse energies, as the bookend for a window of opportunity, are gently closing a vast cosmic door on the 'past'. Can you feel the heaviness of the opened aperture sliding slowly into place, sealed. Closed behind us. The only openings the gateways (and there are many, varied and amazing) that move us ever onward into evolution. Where have your choices led you? What new openings now present themselves as gifts of Gaian transition? What openings have your choices now unveiled before you? It is an unending stream of stellar ignition. To THIS have your prayers and affirmations and commandments brought you. What/which will the turbo-blast now ignite or inflame?

The old world burns within us ~ sometimes as a joyous new burst of lightness and flow, sometimes as what feels like the unending quicksand of old habituations. Do not judge what you appear to experience - not yet. Not yet. The solstice gateway looms before us - inviting us into its perhaps devouring, perhaps luscious maw of grace. Whatever is left of the old world, let it burn. Enter the core of inner silence and let the birthing fire consume all that does not align with cosmic movement.

Today marks a stillpoint. A breathing point. Not a vantage point, to survey what was, and what may come, but a pause in the Great Transition, within which we can breathe and be grateful for all that may yet be.

Thank you that this transition is guided entirely by Grace.
Thank you for this moment of perfect breath, perfect silence, as the waves loom behind and before.
Thank you that the waves enfold and caress us as they pound even now upon some far, new shore.
Thank you for all that may yet be.
I choose gratitude. I choose grace. I choose the finest, most minute filaments to be lit as beacons within me, that Divine Alignment may never be ignored in any form.
Thank You, for the choicepoint windows of alignment that are ever in Presence, are ever present, in this moment and in every moment as new worlds dream to be.
~Namaste~

with unending divine direction ~
Nalini

http://www.delphicwave.com
http://www.beheartspace.com
http://www.beyondmysticism.com

~Let's Talk Towers ~

The Tower card and the Moon card are images (here from the Rider-Waite) from the Tarot that teach the meaning of portals, of moving through challenges, of letting go into flow. They also have reference to many ancient / esoteric traditions... the moon pillars to Boaz and Joaquim, the pillars of duality (loosely translated, to be sure). The pillars of duality must be transcended at EVERY level for true unity to occur. This is generally a multi-lifetime process.

In our current lifetime, we have the opportunity to move thru an infinite series of such portals from within a flow of grace. This is, quite honestly, why most 'conscious' souls incarnated into this particular lifestream at this time.

An image of the 'tower' that persists in shadow form is beautifully illustrated by story in the Ramayana, of Rama/Sita/Ravanna. In the story, Rama and Sita are incarnations of Vishnu and Lakshmi, archetypes of sustainable divine manifestation and abundance, respectively. Ravanna is the 'demon' archetype who steals Sita (the archetype of abundant flow) and imprisons her in 'his' tower.

This is story of dharmic alignment... of the old cycle truth of following one's dharmic path through a particular incarnation with integrity. In the vedic traditions, as in many others, dharma is like one's role in a play or position on a team. For the play to go well or for the team to win, each person must "stay in character" or "play his position." If each thing in the universe does its dharma, the universe functions smoothly. When people or things violate their dharma, things fall apart.

With the current cyclic shift, all roles, all positions are also shifting. This brings up shadow aspects of our previous dharmic roles, rules, and responsibilities that would never have come to light (literally) without this shift.

So, the tower image, for example. The fear, in collective consciousness, can be that, although the tower in which Sita is imprisoned by Ravanna is a structure or vibration of lower energy, she holds her integrity, and waits for Rama, (the archetype of the Divine Warrior of Integrity) to follow that attraction path and rescue her.

There is a place in our modern psyche that regards this tower, in whatever form, as a protection. So, the dualistic archetypes of Rama/Ravanna are two sides of the same Lila, or cosmic dance. Sita holds her alignment in the certain knowledge that it will attract the solution (Rama's rescue of her) and this is dharmic indeed. HOWEVER, there is a shadow in the modern collective where the tower also becomes a place to 'hide'.

The Tower, when subjugated into this equation, becomes the duslistically held structure of both a prison and a protection and NOT the symbol of strength, courage, and dharmic integrity that it was originally intended to be.

The voice of this shadow could be said to say "I am letting the Ravanna archetype imprison and thereby control my energies, so that the Rama archetype (the other side of the coin) can 'rescue' or 'save' me... BUT... there is terror, heartbreak and resistance to being 'outed' as it were, because that would require full diligence in dharmic aligment." In other words, "i" (little 'i' used consciously) would have to be a mature, spiritually integrous tower in and of mySelf. Ever faced this? We tend to have this program very covertly stashed away, in a place we refuse to venture into.

This MUST be cleared from our programmed unconscious for all of the archetypes to move into new dharmic alignment, playing the new roles they came in to play for this Shift, full-filling Divine Play, Divine Agenda, in this unprecedented lifetime.

In other words, we have to allow the archetypes of Ravanna/Rama to release their shadow aspects (that have occurred over our souls' histories and were not originally intended) within us so that we can resume the Divine Play in a more evolved and truly authentic dharmic alignment... so that these archetypes can do the same within us.

So, how is the 'tower' playing out for you? Where have you unconsciously chosen to 'hide' or 'be safe' even while you are courageously standing for truth? These are the archetypal shadows playing out in today's world. As we release them from within ourselves, they cease to play in our lives, in the vibrations we radiate, and in the world as well.

Play well!
And May Every Blessing Find you!
~unending love
Mary (Nalini)
http://www.beheartspace.com
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