We are now fully in the Solstice - Full Moon / Lunar Eclipse(s) - Grand Cross(es) and 6th Night portal sequence. Gaia is re-birthing Herself in the NOW. From the Temples into the arms of the Mother, in reverence we are moved, all anyhow, ready or not. And for some, we have felt so very ready, for so very long... and yet...
This past cycle has been quite the ride, has it not? In its death-rebirth sequence, we are feeling the birth of the new as the old energies thrash through their death throes. We are, all of us, releasing and rebirthing. And, as any birthing Mother will tell you, (once she is able) she has no clue how any of it is happening nor what the end result will be. She is only aware of the blessing and the miracle that is transpiring through her. So it is for Gaia. So it is for us all.
This past weekend, in a sacred releasing breathwork session I had a vision of the temple at Angkor Wat in Cambodia, of the sangha of monks in bright orange, all looking like dolls, all incarnations - each and very one - of spiritual values, spiritual past lives, vows of continuance, of perseverance and of obedience. All memories of 'spirituality' in the cycle that is dancing its death song. Lives of accruing merit, of holding the remembering, of vows coming to completion. As these images worked their way out of my body with the breath, I wondered. Visions come first, understanding later (if at all).
This was followed by more visions, all in meditation, of many forms, many lives. It brought back the wondering of how my sisters have come together here, now, in this place, for a completion of some kind. Prior to coming to this place, I had a dream. I was in this area, connecting heart-to-heart, remembering to remembering, essence to essence with other mystics. Since I have been here, this has happened, much to my wonderment and gratitude.
Sunday I received a hug from Ammachi. Around my left wrist was wrapped my 'original' mala - the first mala from my first mystery school teacher, purchased with that week's food money, at the Bodhi Tree bookstore in L.A. It has been with me for every desert trip and darshan with Rama, every spiritual or mystical training, every shamanic journey, every spiritual or mystical adventure for 27 years (a '9' of course!). A small storehouse of mystical power and light.
As I was released from the hug, the mala broke. And, as I sat in Presence, I felt the beads that slid free, breaking and releasing through my physical body as well. Completion. Release. Finally. And the Mother's words breaking through my heart. "It is time". It is still too fresh and new and unfathomable for words. Finally. Not of any 'doing' but of Grace.
To Datta, for the sacred sounds that have graced my way and in whose presence over this New Year (2010) I received the complete remembering of the essence of my vibration; from whose alignment I received the name Nalini. (http://www.sivababa.org).
To Rama, without whose boot camp I may not have remembered nor would I have persevered. (http://fredericklenzfoundation.org/)
To Leslie Temple-Thurston, who taught me how to transform dualistic structures through processing, and whose patience with my 'doing' has been unfaltering. (http://www.corelight.org)
To Pamela, whose Presence of Innocence in the tradition of Ramana, has helped me to complete a cycle. ( http://www.pamelasatsang.com )
To Malathy, whose great love broke the 'heart' mala and allowed me to begin to physically truly heal.
and, most recently, to Amritananda Mayi, (http://www.amma.org ) whose Grace and Presence allowed the Divine to show me in no uncertain terms that in the Divine Mother's Presence there is only 'free'.
May we all be flowed and guided through this time, this immense portal of Grace, with ease and safety and exactly what we need. May we remember with reverence that it is always so.
~ in infinite gratitude,