Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Every paradigm, reality construct or other 'physical adventure' is actually a sort of box. The view from outside any box is, quite simply, extraordinary, awe-inspiring, gob-smacking... you get the point. Consider the film Contact, with Jodie Foster. The main character's inability to express the cosmic viewing point(s). The old paradigm, the 'powers that were' etc. are literally contained within a boxlike reality structure. Every spiritual tradition contains truth and a 'manual' for exiting the box... or peacefully existing within it until such time as an exit strategy is desired or possible, depending upon the soul lessons one has chosen to experience. ALL boxes within Gaia's embrace are now open for exit. No strategies required. This has always been a world of choicepoints. Infinite, endless choicepoints. Whatever your choices have been, you are living out the soul lessons (learnings chosen) right now... in each and every moment. We all are. So, for example, a soul lesson that I have been wrestling with, quitting, leaving behind, avoiding, accepting, the whole dance - for several lifetimes is 'passing the baton'. In the Buddhist traditions, this is known as 'passing on wisdom'. A noble pursuit, yes? Sure, on that playing field. What if there are other playing fields? Of course there are... anyone can observe this. The somewhat more atavistic playing fields appear to be more prevalent on this world at this time. ;) What if the soul lesson is NOT how to play perfectly on a particular field, nor to teach the 'young ones' how to do that... but what if there is a soul lesson in simply choosing to exit and evolve elsewhere? Such is and has been 'my' lesson. I came into this life simply unable to play on the field of trauma-drama. Compassion? Yes. Buy-in? None. This has been mis-perceived and called heartless by many. I have experienced the loneliness, the false belief that "I have to endure this, because this is my dharma" (translate - I chose this and now I have to suffer through it). There is a Tibetan enlightenment practice wherein the initiate is shut into a cave with a certain amount of food and water, and perhaps candles, and left there... to meditate her/his way 'out' or die. There are examples of this transition process in every tradition since the box was engineered. The 'way out of the box' is enlightenment or death. So, in returning to the closed-system to 'help' or 'rescue' or 'enlighten', one makes unconscious agreements to abide by these parameters. As with any closed system the 'rules' can be bent and sometimes broken... therefore the enlightened anomaly. Is this the only way? How could that be possible in an infinite universe? What if there is no baton to be passed? No wisdom to pass on? No box, and no reason to find a way out? What if the vow to have this understanding, this inner knowing, and still return to the 'content-laden' box to share that wisdom is no longer a viable path or option? What if? As long as one soul chooses to learn through transcendence or transmutation of any set of circumstances, worlds with those parameters will exist. Such is the grace of the Divine. Question for the moment: What, more interesting, more fun choices might there be? Show me? Just a contemplation. Not that anyone would actually want off their current game board.... ~unending love Nalini http://www.delphicwave.com http://www.beheartspace.com
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The exercise of processing has traditionally been that of making the unconscious conscious. Of bringing the LARGER portion of the iceberg of awareness into full 'thaw' and allowing all parts to 'rise above' the alleged water line from beneath which, our lives are guided in the currents of living, by this frozen mountain of unconsciousness.
As we ride the shifting waves, the shifting times and tides, this image, this 'fixed position' in processing needs to be shifted as well. It is, in fact, shifting at at this very lucid, special moment between the moons. Within the desire to make the unconscious, conscious, lies a transparent and insidious hierarchical fixed position. Belief system: (taken as axiomatic in EVERY tradition) Conscious is better than unconscious. "Better than" is always hierarchy.... Can you hear your 'but-but bird bursting into voice?'. BUT consciousness is everything! True. Except, of course for that HUGE underwater mountain that is the piece of the little self actually navigating the currents... BUT I don't want that to be true! Most actual truth is truth whether we believe it, want to see it, or not. BUT if I embrace the unconscious driver programs, I will be stuck in that frozen underwater place for f'in ever! Ha! That's the one. That is just a belief system, a rule in the unconscious.
The Oneness is the ALL. So what is the unconscious obsession with making itself conscious, that is actually driving the aversion to unconsciousness in the conscious mind? It twists the tongue and the mind, but read this double bind, this deadly embrace, again. Sit with it. An unconsciously held obsession with consciousness (remember that the unconscious mind truly believes and knows it is a chalice for our light) is the driving root cause of all that magnetizes unconscious behavior to us, to show us what is still holding on, and simultaneously pushes away the aversion to 'unconsciousness, or unconscious behavior' that we feel justified in holding onto. For example, the feeling that we are 'surrounded by unconsciousness' on this world. Is that truth? Is it not a subtle form of very entrenched judgement? What do your belief systems say? What rules are in place that hold this fixed position intact? The primal split is not light/dark but conscious/unconscious and the scream we fear to feel is the ticket out of this split and into oneness. Feel the scream in the body. Remember that it takes only '90 seconds' of holding and allowing this to dissolve for it to truly clear.
Yes, we still have preferences ~ our love for consciousness, for awareness, for the vibration of the oneness that, in dualistic language, defies expression... our expressions must now shift as well. Enlightenment implies 'endarkenment' ~ conscious implies unconscious. The Oneness is the All. Antidotes anyone? Are you ready to let the 'last holdout of duality' leave you? 'WHAT THEN?', the ego says... Well... 'what then?'. Perhaps freedom, fulfillment and JOY. When the unconscious obssession with consciousness is cleared, and its counterbalance of a conscious (but perhaps denied) aversion to unconsciousness is cleared as well, the resulting awareness is Oneness.
Try it! Ask for the 'brass ring'! You may find that 'found' is a misnomer, after all. Unity is not what duality would make of it ~ a polarized experience in form. Unity simply IS. Your choices, intentions, allowing and receiving determine the currents available to you.
May this releasing and receiving be blessed within and without!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Love must be primary. And yet it is little known. Impersonal, transpersonal love permeates everything, sources the All, and yet...She is little know, seldom embraced, yet to be comprehended. Listen to the voice(s) that cry 'I know! I understand!' and allow compassion to flow. She is little known. Little understood... and that bandwidth of limitation is shifting.
The surrender into and through the paradigm of sacrificing the 'little' or 'lower' self seems to have been the way... it is neither the Truth nor the Light. Yet is seems to have been a necessary practicum of acquiring discipline in this, the long 'instant' of humanity's ascension. Love is neither sacrifice nor atonement nor self-abusiveness, nor does it require 'sacrifice' in any form. Love does not perceive along these pathways. She perceives only the Oneness, only from wholeness, only As That. It is a perspective that terrifies the singularity, the egoically positioned 'personal' form. And for this transcendence of 'personal terror' the disciplines were formed. A way, a path(s), a light shining at the end of long travail that all too often previews the 'oncoming train wreck'. This has been held in nobility, as goal, as a 'highest' form of service. Only in a delusional paradigm of greed and suffering. Only in separation. Only from a 'place' that does not truly exist. And yet, humanity has 'acted as if'. The doorways loom large before it, and yet... 'we must suffer more nobly, we must sacrifice more purely'... only that which is the prime creator of suffering itself. Only that must be sacrificed. Only that false structure of controlled limitation must go.
For LOVE hold even this, this delusional, parasitic existence where one feeds off another with no recognition of inner Source, even this, She holds in compassionate embrace. Not hosting this feeding, frenzied, fear-driven prison of limitation, yet holding its essence in higher vibratory alignment ~ just enough. Just enough. Just enough to allow the infinite ocean of all possibility to shine through, in whatever way or form or for however slight a moment She will be allowed and received within.
This Love awaits you. This Love IS your very essential vibration of 'home'.
Let go the 'knowing' and the 'known', the imagined, the dreamed, the attempts to comprehend. The 'way' has shifted. The Truth and the Light remain the same.
Blessings, endless blessings, from the forever fields of undying love,
Monday, March 19, 2012
Cosmic alignments are opportunities for us to observe how the universe is re-aligning and how we are being re-calibrated within Her embrace. If we make 'too much' of a portal, project too much onto it, we will miss it entirely. If we ignore these opportunities, more are on the way and quickly! That said, it is helpful to take a moment, (the exact alignment is at 10:14 PM Pacific time - & remember that the US just went to 'summer' time) and honor these alignments. View them from within their flow of Grace, from within our hearts and cores.
The image of the light flowing through a portal is an appropriate one. Gaia's light now moves into and through yet another transit gate in her ascension process. what does that mean? Flow with her and feel the shifts, feel her joy in transition.
In this year of physical transition, we will feel, perceive these changes rather than think or believe or mentally, intellectually, understand. So, how is this transition manifesting through you? How is your Divine spark lighting up in reverent joy at this turning? There is no 'turning back' from this. And for that, we can be eternally grateful.
Have a blessed, blessed Equinox. And if this is your 'new year', may it be and may you make it be a blessed event! (aide shomah mobarak)
Monday, February 27, 2012
I remember now, the nanosecond split decision to enter into the conception imprint of the body I currently infuse Source's essence into. The embryonic embodiment's input into the choice to further the survival of the body by accommodating what could be called 'parental intent' or agenda. A split choice, indeed, as the pure intent, the trajectory of the essence was for a dimensional reality of pure light, sound, beauty and co-creation. And yes, that could and can be co-created in the now and here of our incarnate reality constructs.
Childhood was spent in a mental state of perplexion. The feeling of 'THIS is not what was intended! Or was it? What happened?'. Where are all of the abilities this essence is so familiar with? Why do these abilities not seem to function here?
A slight detour. Ever so slight, yet all-permeating. As I sat with this, listening, as the body has been clearing mightily of late, I heard, one more time, the words of one of this lifetime's teachers "one dimension too many". Admittedly, the reactivity was that of 'oh, not again'...with many lifetimes' disciplined energy of 'yes, show me, what is it that wants to be seen?'. I was shown a scene from one of the Harry Potter films. I forget which. Harry is using floo powder to travel magically and mispronounces his intended destination. [in the film, his intended destination is Diagon Alley and he says 'diagonally'] He ends up 'one grate' too far. The intended destination was full of sweet shops, 'good' wizards, his soul friends... and the 'one grate too far' full of twisted magicks, darkness, fear and treachery. The often 'hidden' world of the shadow teachers. "One dimension too many". 'Oh, you're joking me!' I exclaimed in meditation, the laughter bursting through my inner core. The physical instinct for survival in the developing reptilian brain (brainstem) of this body was allowed to divert pure intention by one little space-time pixel and what was chosen was the realm of the Shadow Teachers...
And, of course, there are no accidental choices. In 'hibernation' these past weeks, I finally heard that small voice, another that pretends to be the voice of Essence glibly stating 'oh, i shall just sacrifice myself one last time... for the hell of it. Why not?'. The hell of it indeed. For that has been the experience...the polarisation of heaven and hell, in incarnate form. A chosen experience, Now fully owned, integrated and released. Yes, the intention was there to incarnate into a certain family, bloodline coding(s), society, opportunities, etc. Yes, the original intention was for an embodiment of pure creativity, embodiment of true creative power. And yes, the slightest little wobble in choosing was present, still, for the first blueprint in this, a double blueprint lifetime (for everyone). 'why not clean up whatever CAN be cleaned up?' Oh how very noble... from a spiritually arrogant point of view. Why not clean THAT up, if nothing else? (eeks)
Years, actually decades ago, I had a dream where I was in some sort of oubliette in 'hell' with a few of my friend Leslie Temple-Thurston's students. I was assisting them to break out of this illusion, this place of forgetting. Leslie walked through an open portal into this little closed-loop dimension, and spoke to me, ignoring the others completely. She said 'I don't want you doing that HERE'. The 'i' of the dream immediately began to protest:' i am not doing harm! I am trying to assist! I am only bringing light to the shadow!'. The dream Leslie looked at me as though I had gone completely mad and took my left hand in hers. She gently but firmly walked me through the open portal I had been resolutely trying to show to these 'others' and through a few more - 5 in fact - to a much lighter, love-filled area. She then faced me, repeating 'I don't want you doing that THERE'. Literally. Not in that place. I woke up still feeling the pressure of her hand holding mine. I have remembered that, for these decades of practice. 'Not THERE'. That is a shadow world, a compartment of the illusion that is not suited to your presence.
Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? ~Rumi
Communication, as it flows through me needs to come from another place. The true 'I' of me is not a shadow teacher, but something else, something now emerging that has yet to take form or flight. Something whose initial intentional trajectory is being honoured through me, ready or not.
I drew a Rumi card at New Year's 2011, 'The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.'
The body's reaction then, after 3 years of 'shedding' and 'crunching' experiences was 'no more... no more...' and yet there has manifested more upon more upon more until this last, 'final' (and the long-programmed doubt is certainly present & being processed) sucker punch that pulverizes the scar tissue into rubble, exposing wounds long cauterized out of even unconscious vibration. The sledge hammer version of truth, that only shadow teachers ever wield. A parcel of 'small gifts' - oddly belittled versions of giving - offered with gratitude, with love and with the sledgehammer of projection firmly attached. 'Here is what i have to teach you! Here is what YOU need to heal!'... and of course, this was not fully conscious on the part of the bestower... it did its work, nonetheless... and in receiving the love, the sledgehammer was vanquished at long last.
In the dimension I currently occupy, this aspect of teaching no longer exists. The vestiges of its departure were acutely painful to the physical and emotional bodies. The crushing of ancient, cauterized pain can only be met now, from this place, with gratitude. Thank you that that reality no longer exists within 'me'. Thank you that this shattering of the realm of the Shadow Teachers has left me at long last ~ free. Free to choose the co-creative space of my Divine Alignment. Free to simply 'Be'.
For all of the Shadow Teachers of long acquaintance, you are loved. You are respected. Your gifts have proven priceless. Of inestimable value. And yes, I was and have been, 'another you'. Thank you for your long love and acquaintance. It is time to say 'goodbye', to return to the Oneness from which 'I' have come, to be 'of you'.
It is never about another... it is always a way to be free... even the niggliest wobbly into 'one dimension too many' ~ a gift of transcendence into wholeness... though I might now recommend the 'front door' having done the other side. ;)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Last night, in the middle of a long, sleepless, meditative stretch of hours, Gaia made her presence known. We chat together, Gaia and I, most days, many nights. This was different. An invitation.
From within the orb of Gaian embodiment, an offer emerged... non-verbal in its essence, a current from the heart. "Your circle is welcome. Join within." In 2009, after listening repeatedly to a channeling by my friend Leslie Temple-Thurston, from Gaia herself, stating what has finally emerged as the obvious 'it is time... I am evolving... you must evolve within me... your options are 'this'" (I am mis-quoting a bit here, apologies).
Since that deep listening, deep aligning, the singularity that I experience as 'I' has deepened her melt into our earth Mother. Roshini and I rise each day and express our love to and within her many dimensions. Lessening now, these dimensional windows. And multiplying, in fractal beauty in ways only reflected in miniature within her light ~ in snowfall, the rainbow lights within sunrise on snow ~ the light on the water in all its myriad forms...
This morning, though, we walked AS GAIA... on her surface world, within her vast embrace, yet AS SHE. The peace and wonderment of this, not a first experience, but a completion of some as yet un-cognized kind, leaves me breathless still. Gratitude for breath itself, for ths sylphs who clear and purify our harried atmospheric orb, for flow, the undines that ceaselessly sing and provide life-force to this, our blue, beloved earth... the green world in all her resplendent glory, the gnomes, elementals of embodiment, whose crystalline creations now rival the stars. For salamanders, large and small, as they spark the light, warm the hearth and provide a catalyst for this, Gaia's emergence into yet a new form.
As we walked, and Roshini pounced, and rolled and leapt for joy, the green world gave of its abundant splendor, the salamanders promising warmth from collected 'twigs', the waters beginning to gurgle once more beneath our icy bridge of mindfullness, we joined with Gaia in her murmur of awakening... the quiet, still hum of new beginnings.
What a wonder, is this, 'our' world.
May Every Blessing Find you,
Friday, January 27, 2012
As we move into the new year, new cycle, new paradigm or whatever you may choose to call it - we are now NEW... and this is presenting interesting challenges to our physical and emotional bodies. The concept of 'NEW' to these bodies is triggering infant response patterns that make little or no sense to the mind, the intellect, and, in some instances, even to our hearts.
We can have physical, emotional reactions to people, places, things, situations, events, that on the surface appear to be nonsensical. We are either flung into reactivity or into the self-judgement backwash of 'what the bleep is going on? these are ridiculous feelings to have! why is this so painful?'.
What helps is to notice repetitive patterns in the physical body, sometimes in the form of repetitive symptoms,that mirror the adult body's triggering into an infant reaction of 'not safe' - 'can't trust' - or something like that. The physical body is being triggered into infant reactivity. NEW - as in a totally new cycle or paradigm - translates to some of our body programming as "I'm an infant again in a foreign world where I don't know how to function, I am totally dependant and terrified". Again, this is a physical body pattern and not real nor applicable in the NOW. It does not feel that way to the physical body, however. These patterns within it feel their survival is threatened.
The energies continue to intensify. The waves become larger. The bodies (physical and emotional) feel tossed into a new world with no umbilical, or with energetic umbilical attachments that no longer feel safe. And that is correct. Any attachment to the 'old' cycle will not serve, unless it, too, has altered and shifted to the NEW.
So how do we help our physical and emotional bodies? How does one help a terrified infant? We look honestly, we present the truth, we choose to trust, and we comfort those aspects of self that feel as though they are being annihilated. No aspect of self will be 'left behind' in this transformation. Therein lies much of its intensity. In other lives we may have allowed these physical and emotional patterns to simply 'go home' or may have dropped the body entirely. Not this time. Not this transition. That choice is always available, but it is not optimal during this transformational shifting.
If and when the feelings of terror, pain, panic, symptoms etc. surface, remember to breathe and let go. It is the last thing the infant patterns will want to do and they are, for the most part, non-verbal. So trying to 'talk them down' will be completely useless. Feel into the symptoms or emotions and bring the heartspace energies in. Bring soothing vibrations into the reactivity. And ask for help from the Divine.
Thank You, Divine Mother, for releasing, comforting and shifting these vibrations that are 'lost' in transformation. Show me what I may need to understand and let all the rest be held and transformed in your loving embrace.
May the Blessings of this transition carry you home!
(ALL the way home! ALL THE WAY!!!)