~ Comfort Zones

~ What are they Really? ~

I have witnessed a lot of talk recently about moving past comfort zones... pushing people past them, how the Shift will do that... so I have found myself turning the witness deeply inward (the only place that really 'works' for me, at least) to observe... where, really, is the 'comfort zone'? What does it look like? Feel like?
For most, it is a place where our inner whatever feels 'safe'. So, first, I looked there... what part of me needs to feel safe? That was the first clue.

Inner statements that make you go 'hmmmm'. The question, from awareness, was observational. The feeling response was, if I am radically honest, from the place of the inner Judge. Well, little brat, what part of you still needs to feel safe? That's not why you came here! Hmmm. So I looked at that inner structure.

And REALIZED... 'my' comfort zone, the hangout of the ego, is DISCOMFORT, which can segue "zero to sixty" into self-punishment, self-torture, et al, which are all symptoms of self-hatred. Do I really still 'hate' my own (perceived as) weakness? Apparently.
Well that bites. I have lived a warrior's life, pushed myself 'beyond limits' and what today's insight is, is that it came from my spiritual commitments, yes. AND, the ego has co-opted this feeling into something it can beat 'me' up with... Again with hmmm.

Yesterday, my friend Lynn said "I was...and suddenly realized I was feeling something I had not felt in a long time... and I realized I was HAPPY!". This week I have had that same experience. It feels a little like "Oh yes, I remember..." what is actually just 'happy'feels like ecstatic buoyancy to the body, that has endured my self persecutions for decades now. Hmmm. NO, no visceral mortifications, the idea of hair shirts and beds of nails never appealed... well, maybe the nails, on a really weird day. So, hey, that's martyrdom... why? Is some sort of sacred/sainted/silly martyr 'my' comfort zone? I asked this, in all integrity, and got 'no'... that part has been worked through.

HOWEVER, the 'comfort of discomfort', is still an internalized fear of back-sliding, of hearing one of my teachers' voices saying "comfortable is complacency and that will get you every time"... hmmm. So comfort was anathema, to this piece of 'selfness'.

My choice, in this moment, and for all moments going forward is to release the attachment to discomfort, release the choice to do the 'uncomfortable' (just another face of 'doing it the hard way') and find the authentic flow of ecstatic authenticity that TRULY supports all aspects of the Divine that my core knows we all are.

Just a few thoughts for a Friday.

May Every Blessing Find you!
Nalini (Mary)
http://www.delphicwave.com

Embodying Inner Trinity

~ Are you ready to walk Divnity? ~

Over the past three years a transmission has gone through me ~ that of "Trinity". We have many traditional images for this "three as one" divine concept. Father-Mother-Child, Father-Son-Holy Spirit, the Triple Goddess (Maiden-Mother-Crone) - although we need to add "Queen" somewhere in between the Mother/Crone aspects at this point, Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva, Kali/Durga - Lakshmi - Sarasvati...San Qing (Taoist Trinity) comprised of the Celestial Worthy of Primordial Beginning, Celestial Worthy of Numinous Treasure and Celestial Worthy of the Tao and its Power, and the list goes on. EVERY tradition has this conceptual triple personification of the Divine. Our human minds seem to need these categories, or LIFE seems so very BIG that we cannot conceptualize its essence.

What is being asked, at this time, is to walk our embodiments. We do that always. We do that 'anyway'. We walk our belief systems, our habituated behaviours, our self-identity.

It is time to walk, to embody, our divinity... and we will each do this from our innermost essence, our core, our signature vibratory frequencies. Doesn't that change? Yes! Emphatically, yes! And isn't that half the fun? As we learn and evolve and shift - and the shifting is intense, immense and currently so very present ~ we vibrate differently. ALWAYS. Almost every moment. And yet - and yet...

When we get to our core essence - having stripped away whatever else (or so it seems - giggles aplenty) it is time to let go.

Having chosen to align my personal will with divine will over and over and over and over... and having shed lifetime after lifetime after lifeline within this one incarnation, it is suddenly/continuously mandated/gifted that core essence is what remains. What to look for? What to live for? How to BE? What IS this luminous core and how would 'she' like to orchestrate the remaining incarnation?

The embodied Trinity essence plays itself over and over, an insistent inner chorus "Intuition, Instinct(body wisdom) and Inspiration". I have spent a lifetime paring down, carving away, shedding, and polishing, for this... this very fragile beginning, after so very many beginnings, this super-awake newness that opens its unveiled eyes in STRENGTH and COURAGE and a long-remembered, long-awaited sense of very quiet 'now'. And what could be more 'normal' more 'me'.... a concept that brings hysteria of the not-so-quiet kind. I kept my partner awake with it for most of the night... uncontrollable cosmic hilarity with apparently no end. "No more caffeine for you" was the response, as I shook and quaked and chortled my way through yet another dimensional opening.

How many times have I said "This?" "THIS - (whatever the aha or 'duh' was at the time) is "it"??? And here, at what appears (and we know that nothing is as it seems) to be unparalleled newness...a breath of silence, of the Stillness that pervades all movement. The inner smile that needs no cultivation. AGAIN. Still.

Intuition, Instinct and Inspiration. Inner unfoldment, opening into total guidance without the need for 'thought'.

The defender 'rests'. In gratitude. May every nuance of 'controller' do the same.

May the infinite blessings of transition and unfoldment BE your walk in this world.
Nalini (Mary)
http://www.delphicwave.com

~ Walking the April Fool! ~

~ Welcoming the On-rushing Wave ~

Happy April! The image that leapt to mind this morning was the Fool card, my personal favorite being that of the Radiant Tarot (Rider-Waite).

If anyone has walked this card of late, it would be me!

A few years ago I had an Anam Cara reading (soul friend, for the non-gaelic-speaking) that showed I would have a sort of 'death' experience and a new life would begin. (As if this was the first time! yikes!) Having just had my dear soul buddy Kirin take his leave, I was not... thrilled? HOWEVER, as I was being initiated into unconditional truth and trust and utter positivity (thank you Baba for that expression) I took to heart what was said. Much of the reading involved this card, which speaks to me again today, this day of the April Fool!

The Fool has cast off all appearances of material / worldly support and strides freely toward 'his' destiny, his dharmic awakenings, with only a small pack and 'his' loyal canine companion. (Thank you Roshini!) Traditionally, there are mountains behind the figure in the card, but the resemblance to very large waves cannot be missed, especially in light of our planet's goings-on.

The 'waves' behind the Fool reminded me this morning of a scene from the Hollywood rendition of our times, the film 2012. This is NOT a film recommendation! I feel that film played on the adrenalin factor more than it played out truth. That said, there is one scene, where a Tibetan Lama (head abbot if I remember correctly) is awaiting the coming waves, and is shown striking a large gong high up in the Himalayas, as he calmly watches huge waves of water coming OVER the 20 thousand foot peaks surrounding him. It was one of those perfect moments. Wow. Look what Nature can do!

Today is known as April Fool's day in the western world, characterized by practical jokes and poking fun. This time the joke is clearly on us! What a gift to have a moment to laugh at oneself, to take a look at the quintessential silliness of all endeavors.

We plan, we worry, we.... well you know. And yet ~ there are such deeper goings-on that are RIGHT IN OUR FACES if we will only open our eyes in wonder and participate in all that is shifting and changing!

In Sumerian times, this moon cycle was associated with the 3rd chakra. Inanna (in her passage into the underworld as Venus) is required to give up her ring of power. Ring of power.... hmmm. Isn't there another story...??? A little chap called Frodo?

In Sumerian mythology, Inanna is required, through this act, to give up her PERSONAL power, surrendering the ways she no longer holds her power in balance and harmony, either because she is giving her power away to others, or she is afraid she will use her power inappropriately, or she is already using her power to control and manipulate others. Again with hmmmm....

"When the third chakra is out of balance many feel disconnected from a sense of belonging, have a skewed self-image of either being overly important, or not important at all, as well as fearing rejection and being overly sensitive to criticism. When this happens, discernment and a sense of life purpose as well as decision making and the ability to take healthy action are more difficult due to the inability to focus. Whatever the imbalance, Venus is now required to surrender all the ways she has misused or misunderstood her personal power becoming vulnerable and open to the ways of the underworld initiation." ~ from Cayelin Castell's shamanic astrology for March 2011

The 'trusting' Fool, however, is looking to the heavens as he prepares, perhaps unknowingly, perhaps with complete trust, to step off of a cliff... taking a literal leap of faith.

For the past three years or so, this has been my livingness. Each day, each opportunity, each moment of living, taking that step onto... sometimes 'nothing' as the Divine breadcrumbs, lily pads, (forget branches!) appear only as my weight descends onto whatever has been next on the many converging and coalescing paths of this lifetime.

For this, I can only be transcendently, overflowingly, grateful. For each step, challenging though it may have been, has brought new blessings, new beginnings, and a 'new life' that remains 'yet to be'.

In this New Moon space, this 'day of the Fool' I smile at the Tarot card, joyfully joining this seemingly benighted adventurer, as we move as we are moved, live as we are shown, and ride this newest wave of infinity.

Happy April Fools Day!

From one 'Fool' to all beloved 'others',

May Every Blessing Find you!
Nalini-Mary
http://www.delphicwave.com

~ Equinox Blessings ~

~ Bringing in a New Balance ~

Today the Equinox alignment happens, late this afternoon where I currently reside. Yesterday's full moon brought new openings and took much away. We are all feeling it. The new question: What is Possible??

So many are saying "I don't know who I am". Right. Times of shifting require both inner and outer morphing. We seem to lose a cherished piece of self, only to become more of our authentic Self. Such are the energies of this equinox.

It is time to soul shift. We are now receiving, in the mirror of life, very precise (although they sometimes come in fun house mirror distortions) reflections of our inner vibration(s). When I observe my reality construct, my current experience of reality on this world, I see a newly-shiny birthing world of integration and merging. Merging of intuition with Divine Guidance from what appears to be 'outside', as this has always been One. Matter and Spirit are merging within us, finally, finally, to a sense of Home... we are in this process. All of us.

What will work now, in this shiny newness, is nothing that has worked before. Duality is transcending into unity, and from this oneness, this knowingness, this mandatory level of Trust, we will morph into beings we have yet to meet. Beings who are not split, beings who hold integrated oneness at our Core. What works is to allow the awareness of being held, of being always Divinely Connected.

When the fear rushes up to try to keep us safe, we need to let it move through the heart. Have compassion for our own ignorance, our lack of knowing that we are cared for, always have been and always will be. It is our soul selves that push the purging energies through us at this time ~ making space for all that we truly are. Celebrate all that shows itself, even as the purging moves through.

At this alignment of New Beginnings and Balancing, may we feel the Presence that we are, and live it fully!

Namaste! Happy Equinox!
Nalini (Mary)
http://www.delphicwave.com

~ Welcome to the Ninth Wave! ~

I googled the ninth wave of the Mayan Calendar last evening, just to see what is out there. Wow! Just about everything one could imagine and then some!

When I do this, do a search for general information, it is an exercise in seeing. What resonates with the unique embodiment of Divinity that I AM, what does not. More and more, in these transition times, we need to come into the quiet of our inner silence, our inner resonance, that is often so still, it seems to have no motion.

Is this the 'last wave'? Well, for that particular cycle-tracking device, it seems to be. For creation? How could it be? How could a tracking device, though made by those who chose alignment with the grand design eons ago, be anything but a marker? A marker of a new cycle of becoming, of creative flow, that we have the ability to choose to align with, to co-create in alignment with, or to resist. I wouldn't choose the latter, personally… personally. What a strange concept these days.

As the furry princess and I went for our morning 'exploring', we felt the changes. She, sniffing them out in her own inimitable way, me walking between the worlds enjoying the shifting energies. "It's different today" she informs me. "Yes, I know" I grin along with her, as she naifs and tracks and follows the shifting lines.

A recent publication out of New Zealand actually shows that the earthquakes/rifts/ flooding/what have you were made by a waveform. It is mapped, geo-magnetically and electro-magnetically so that the waveform is completely observable. How very timely and, how cool! Coolness abounds these days/times.

I find a grin, a little serene smile without and within, as we ride these currents, allowing them to move us as the Divine wills it so. May we remember to breathe, to surrender into the stillness, to listen, and to enjoy the ride!

So mote it Be. Forevermore.

May the radiant, unfathomable Blessings of this time, Find us All!
~ unending love ~
Nalini (Mary)
http://www.delphicwave.com

~ Waves of Bliss ~

Riding the Ocean of Transformation

It is almost Sivaratri, the New Moon celebration of Siva. In the Vedas, this is one of the most auspicious days for releasing all that no longer serves (also known as karma). All-night vigils are kept, the night of this celebration ~ which falls on March 2nd, in the western hemisphere.

As we celebrate the 'mahas', the great archetypal divine energies, it seems important to remind ourselves that while we, the particles within the divine wave of creation, perceive 'in particular' all is truly oneness. All is truly united through the heart. My beastie companion, Kirin, used to say "when we come from the heart, we are all the same". And while we celebrate the 'maha' archetypes of our choosing, from whatever tradition, may we remember in our deepest beings that there is only ONE.

May we run into these waves of transformation with joyful abandon! May we leap to surf their might with trust and certainty. May re remember that what feels like pulsing, pounding, grinding down is the polishing of the many facets of the jewel within ~ all at once now, all at once now. It is time. And we are ready. It is this transformational fire and freedom we have longed for for lifetimes without end.
May we love and cherish these waves, as they bless us with their transformative currents.

May we remember Mother Kali who is also Siva, in Her omnipresent, all-encompassing Grace. May we remember that Divine is non-dual, that Unity has no gender, that Oneness, harmony with All Our Relations, is key, is vital, is the Way of the Heart.

May we invoke mercy, kindness, tenderness and Grace, for all beings, no matter how unconscious we may perceive them (ourselves) to be. May we truly surrender projections, judgments, and separation, while being true to the divine particle of our unique embodiment.

Such is my 'particular' wish on this almost-Eve of Maha Siva/Kali. May we re-member in wholeness and ascend into Love's Light. VaYaNaMaSi! (siva's mercy)

Blessed Sivaratri! Happy New Moon!
May Every Blessing Always Find you!
Nalini (Mary)
http://www.delphicwave.com

~ Full Moon of Evolution ~

~ Surrendering the Foundations of your Soul ~

So much is being said about a 'new' zodiac due to pole shifting, the 'facts' that it is NOT new... and the true issue lies within how we self-identify. Over the years of inner (and outer) work, I found that one can dismantle, dissolve, release and/or transcend (usually all of the above) one's foundational patterns. I have friends and 'consultants' who are of the astrological profession and honor it deeply. The truth of this transformational time, and especially this first of five potent Full Moons of 2011, is in how we allow ourselves to be identified. How are we projecting outwards, and what is the reflection showing us of which we are largely unconscious? How do we project internally, onto ourselves and our bodies? An interesting way to be in the Observer is to watch how you project onto a tree? A beastie companion? A friend? Then ask, how are 'they' reflecting my outward projections? How am I projecting the same way onto 'me'? And remember that the mind cannot know the truth. It knows only what it has been conditioned, taught, programmed to know. That is its job and a worthy one!

Stay within your light at all times. Confusion is a tactic used to distract and disinform those of us who have, long ago, chosen what is now called ascension. It is a distortion of truth, not truth itself. What we 'know' as our foundations, our 'blueprint' here on Gaia, is shifting, changing, morphing beneath our feet. Ecstasy in the letting go, a bit challenging wherever we cling.

Today's Cancer Full Moon (29 Cancer 27) at 2:21 pm mountain time brings an opportunity to begin to receive all that we have seeded through intention at the 'new year' and the New Moon on the 4th. It is a time to reflect inwardly on compassionate self-care that supports our ability to nurture Self, family and friends. Who are our family and friends? Who/what are we? Today's energies are both fruiting and fragile-feeling. The physical body lifts up deeply held emotional patterns we wish would not feel this way ~ and yet, did we not choose ascension IN the body, THROUGH it? I did. I remember. What do you remember? 'Today' is the window to take a look at our new moon intentions and hold them in gratitude of receiving, in joyful expectation of their inevitability as, even now, we refine them. For what does the heart yearn?

This IS the breakthrough, the transcendence, the ascension wave. Did we think it would feel differently? Did we really presume to know?

This excerpt from Stephanie Austin, http://www.ecoastrology.com.:

Once each year, the Moon is full in the zodiac sign of Cancer, ('my' birth sign in the old blueprint) bringing to light the gifts of responsibly nurturing ourselves, and our beloved planet. It is time to take responsibility for our personal needs (i.e. resting when tired, eating when hungry, and what our body really is asking for, and engaging in activities that promote health and well being). This Full Moon reminds us of our responsibility to care for ourselves so we are better able to care for others if we so choose. ~ Thank you Stephanie!

In this window we have the opportunity to allow the fragile feelings to lead us, deeply into ourselves, like Persephone, who has traversed the 'underworld' and brings it into the light. A Full Moon enlightens. It brings light to any receptivity that opens to receive.

Late yesterday I experienced an old 'death' from another life, in another body, and in the allowing of it, the moving through of the physical, something else has opened, and freed herSelf within this vehicular container, 'my' body. I have long asked for the 'body of light'. Today affords an opportunity to allow that, to surrender even the foundations of physicality, of identity, into a Beingness that can only be birthed in receptivity. Are all births not this way? How is the body unconsciously identified with the conception and the 'pushing' and so much less with the wave of creating?

Ride the Moon and See!
~ unending love
Nalini (Mary)
May Every Blessing Find you ~ as the waves roll through us all ~
http://www.delphicwave.com