Gratitude in this Moment!

(Please enjoy this excerpt from Mary's upcoming book "Ride the Moon".)




For what can I express Gratitude in this moment, as I begin (or end) this day?

For what may I express my complete and total gratitude on this magnificent day?

The full moon energy is that of fullness of expression. She inspires us to shine our light even in the darkest, most turbulent skies.

On this auspicious full moon I am grateful. My gratitude goes to all of those ‘external’ guides who have shown me pieces of ‘my’ way. My gratitude sings the song of mySelf to Source whose fullness of Self I am one small extension. My gratitude I give with open arms to the Great Mother for yet another lesson in finding Her blessings.

This eclipse-to-eclipse, new moon to full moon window we have just traversed has been a deep weeding and re-seeding of our individual and collective intent. I was lying outside, observing the energies transforming within (a little dizzy, I admit) and asking to be shown what was changing. What was shifting inside me that would help me to more perfectly mirror the particle of divinity that I AM in the wave?

I was swept into an internal whirlpool of images, sights and sounds. I felt the saviors, the martyrs, the prophets, the icons.... what did it mean? Why this? Why now? What was it that I needed to internally release? What presented itself was surprising to say the least.

The image that presented itself was a middle-eastern male. This man was turbaned, and completely 100% self-identified as the 'chosen one' or ‘messenger of God’. “”What?” I inquired.

I was taken into remembering, a few days ago in a soul alignment session, when what I saw, first, was this archetype, the chosen one, as a young man of high caste, a 'ruling family' who grew up in a society where he was identified by his birth into a family of entitlement. There was no other 'way' but for him to receive prosperity and privilege, as that was simply his 'due' and his literal birthright. His heart was telling him there was another way but he struggled with this inner question: the question his soul was pressing to find: What is another way? How is it that, by an 'accident of birth', I am so privileged, so entitled, and others are not? How is it that there are those born into disenfranchisement? Who would choose this? Why is life orchestrated in this way?

I remembered the story of Siddhartha, and wondered if this was his archetype. The Divine Mother laughed as she continued her inner lesson.

I was shown that I had drawn this karmic 'card' to bring in with me into this lifetime, as a way of resolving difficulties within. It provided a strong influence for choosing the 'middle way' in processing shadow and releasing identities that no longer fit. It provided an impetus to change, an inner drive to look beneath the workings of the status quo and to seek the truth within. Within the confines of this persona's caste system, he had no such opportunity. In this scenario it is I, in this life, who have been blessed with the 'advantages' of the opportunity to evolve my awareness as I choose. So have we all. So have you.

I remembered again that, just the other evening, I was made aware of this archetype in the impulse to turn on the cable. I was pulled into the film Khartoum... not something I would normally be interested in re-viewing. Khartoum was the first film I remember seeing in a theatre, when I was old enough to 'go with the grownups'. My one memory of that film, from childhood, is the son of my parents' friends sitting next to me stuffing milk duds into his mouth as the carnage escalated. Me, with my mother's hand over my eyes as Gordon's head was piked at the film's end.

For those unfamiliar, Khartoum is an epic film, recounting the story of the city of Khartoum, under siege by one that saw himself as a true messenger of God and a servant of the Prophet Mohammad. Gordon, a British officer and zealot himself, is influenced by his own savior archetype and his ego, to go to Khartoum to try to focus world opinion (and its armies) on the situation. Not a film I would ordinarily be drawn to in my current soul alignment, so being pulled into it was definitely ‘guided’.

What I saw this time, was two 'messengers of God' who were both so dogmatically positioned they could not change course. One, dedicated to sacrificing himself for others, one dedicated to sacrificing others for the 'message' he believed was truth. Each acting out the archetype of the messenger, in dualistically dogmatically held positions.

I found the vibrations of 'sacrificing self' and 'sacrificing others' for a defended position of truth in the depths of myself and asked what was wanting to transform here.
The whole archetype of the messenger was up for transformation. The whole reality of intermediary, of messenger, of any defended position in interpretation of divine reality.

I felt how there has been fear of being a 'messenger' because of these old cycle patterns. I felt the Prophet, the Pope, the Christ archetype, Joan of Arc and many others, ripple through my body and my awareness. I asked Spirit what these images were about... having not yet connected the dots mentally.

I was lying outside at the time, having these energies convulse through me without a clear understanding of what they contained. The Divine Mother said 'it is the archetypical messenger ',’ it is the old forms of that iconic presence within yourself, your bloodlines and your unconscious beliefs’. I still struggled to comprehend her message.

"Open your eyes" she said within me. I opened my eyes, into the deep blue of the late morning sun as a huge hawk streaked low overhead screeing loudly as it went sailing off into the west. I laughed out loud. Ok, got it. This is the Messenger archetype, in all its’ 'his'torical forms. Hawk medicine. My totem. My guide. My energetic signature...no more. Or, perhaps in a newer and more complete form. I was shown how the archetypal messenger has taken on a male form and a male dogmatic position over the centuries, and, in my deepest patterning, that was stuck. It was limiting the archetypal powers of the divine feminine as She was asking to express through me.

I offered this up from the depths of my spirit. I asked to be shown, saying 'goodbye' sadly to the hawk - my medicine and my friend. I offered my gratitude and my love for these archetypal intermediaries and the gifts they have brought to the world. I offered my love to hawk medicine for all of its many blessings. I asked to be shown the energies of the transformation. I was instantly gifted with the new ‘winged one’ that would be my touchstone in my transforming vibratory field. Not a guide, but an example; a new way of vibrating change. I was told 'The Messenger is an intermediary archetype. You are both transcending that and becoming its essence. By opening your awareness as the conduit, you become the grace. Full embodiment is what is asked of you, should you choose this ‘. What does one do, when offered such a choice? Overwhelmed and in tears, I answered in the only way I know how. I said ‘yes. I do not know what I am saying yes to, only that I will not say no’.

I do not know how to embody this. That is a given. I do know that I am humbled and honored and am waiting to be shown. I surrender the 'Messenger' in all 'his' and 'her' forms. I surrender into the 'message'. I keep hearing 'Be the message. Be the ‘ONE'; not a ‘chosen one’... but an actual embodiment of ONEness’.

I know how to be willing. I have learned how to Trust. What I know for sure is that these two qualities are all we ever need to change.

I’ll keep you posted. ;)