Releasing Judgment into Clarity What moves through our world these days, is the ancient knowing of dreaming forward from the heart. There is a companion 'technology' of releasing from that place as well. Releasing from the heart is like jumping from a swing - pumping up so high that the swing goes limp beneath you, throwing yourself forward into the air, landing gracefully or ungracefully as you choose or are able to. This is also known as 'skywalking', where you move forward (or sideways or in spirals) knowing, completely consciously, that there is no path in front of you but that which you are dreaming. You release all that does not support the movements you are making. This can also feel like 'freefall'. The difference comes when you know you have found your wings, and no longer require a parachute (or other flotation device of any kind to hang onto).
I love to 'fly'. My favorite form of that as a child, was to sit in the swing in our little back garden, swishing through the air, back and forth, delighting in the ebb and flow of meditation in motion. I would pump up high, as high as I could, pulling the swing-set frame out of the ground with the loft of my trajectory (much to my Father's constant dismay) flinging myself into the air and landing at a run across the grass, through the roses that have always surrounded me.
One afternoon, post-five-year-old-nap, I was swinging out back and heard a loud noise. I had always felt safe in my garden, so was curious rather than disturbed. One of the older boys from down the street was beating on the fence behind me. He was growling and making threatening noises. I didn't understand. "Is he playing a game? That's kind of weird. "
The older boy, behind the garden fence on this particular afternoon, was one of the oldest sons of a woman who lived 3 doors down - a single Mum with 10 children - whose smiling faces and soft laughter had been a part of my life as long as I could remember. This boy began shouting and pounding on the fence ~ which I thought was kind of funny ~ until he began to throw things at me - anything he could find from the alleyway behind. A broken jar finally hit me in the back, so I decided staying where I was, was not very smart. Pumping up high, I leaped from my swing and ran into the house. Mum was working in the kitchen. She noticed I was out of breath and not just from running.
"What happened?" she asked, from behind the ironing board. I quickly told her what had gone on, pointed out all the trash littering the little area where my swing-set was, and suddenly began to cry. "Why are you crying?" Mum asked. "I don't understand!" I told her, taking a deep breath and making myself be still. "Why was he doing that? Mrs. B (his Mother) is our friend! What does "stupid white girl" mean? " Our neighbor, Katherine, was having a cup of tea in the kitchen. She looked at me and my Mum with her jaw dropped open. "Mrs. M, your daughter doesn't know...". "Know what?" said Mum, with her hands on her hips. "Well, she doesn't... she can't see... you know what I mean!!". Mum put a finger to her lips. That was all.
As the five-year-old that I was then, I had no idea what Katherine was talking about. I knew I loved her stories and her company. I loved her cookies and especially her smile and the way she would hug me before leaving to go home. Did I know she (and the whole neighborhood) was 'of color'? I would have had no idea what that meant. The experience with the older boy was my first encounter with judgment and projection. I wish I could say it was my last! I have judged and projected with the best of them, particularly in the areas of interaction with spiritual teachers. I have 'been' whereof I speak. ;)
I had not thought about that incident for years, decades even, until this week, during my radio blogcast. The transmission from the Sacred Feminine was about fear and judgment. As is most often the case, I was largely unaware of what was being spoken through me - in that I hardly ever remember the words when Her energy moves through me in that way. I 'get out of the way' and rest in Her embrace. To have the 'information' I often have to listen later like everyone else! ;)
As I began to move out of 'transmission mode' there was a commotion of energies coming from the chat room. Apparently, those signed in were having a great time exchanging ideas, supporting one another and generally having a blast. Good! What came through me next, from the place of divine transmission still, was "Not listening". The transmission was not being honored in some way. I heard the words come through my voice - then felt the intensity of the reaction. It was like having trash thrown at my back all over again. The comments were mean. "She was just talking about not criticizing and judging and that is what she just did!". Is that so?
The older neighbor boy judged and threw trash at me because the color of my body, in this life, is different from his. He reacted, most likely, from what had been done to him by others ~ not by me. The comments thrown at me yesterday were from that same energy of reactivity. When we are in reactivity, it is not efficient or useful to assume that the projections you are broadcasting at 'another' are not just that - your own. The caterpillar, even in its most liquefied form, defends the cocoon it has built to protect itself!
When will we (all of us) learn not to take things personally? When will we learn to ask for the bigger picture, the more expanded perspective of what we perceive and experience? When will we stop defending the position of 'being right'? When anything triggers us, it is our true alignment to first look within. What is the difference between judgment and observation? Alignment. Consciousness.
Walk a mile in another's consciousness, before you assume that your perspective is the 'right' one. What you perceive as judgment is most likely your inner judge, reminding you of something you need to see or perceive or learn or understand.
What did I need to learn from that incident as a five-year-old? That not everyone perceives as I do - that there is separation and judgment in the world that need not be. It makes me sad, but I can no longer play on that field. 'What I know for sure' - quoting Oprah now - is that I am 'out' of the bucket and working on my 'bucket list'!
What do you know for sure? Radiate that! Resonate that! Find that voice - and shine! BE the one you have waited for!
From the above, the below, the without, the within, may peace, prosperity, joy, abundance, love, enlightenment, magic and mystery, tenderness, and respect (= reverence) be the fullness and the ALL.
~ mary
What we have known as our 'real world' is churning under our collective feet. May we navigate in reverence and remembrance of the ALL.
May the Divine Mother's Blessings Find You,
~and may you receive, with increasing clarity, all that you request in reverence,
Mary
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